When you have anxiety, you can’t mask it. You can’t wish it away, or pray it away. It becomes this part of you that you can’t seem to control. And it can get out of control. Kind of like love.
When you fall in love when you have anxiety, someone telling you that they love you doesn’t feel like it’s enough. For most people, to hear someone say those three words is reassuring. It’s supposed to be comforting and soothing. But anxiety has a way of making anything scary. And anxiety has a way of making love seem impossible.
Falling in love can be scary for anyone, especially falling in love for the first time. But when you have anxiety, the fears can grow. The uneasiness can take over. And your worries can sometimes overpower the feeling of love.
It doesn’t matter how good your partner is to you. It doesn’t matter how much they assure you they will never leave you. It doesn’t matter how many times they hold you through the night while your brain is on overdrive. It doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they love you.
When you have anxiety, you can’t just shut off. You can’t just turn off your mind to focus on the good. You can’t just hide from your worries.
So you worry. You worry about your future. About your future with your partner. You worry if your anxiety is driving them away. You worry if it’s too much for them to handle. You worry about tomorrow, and the next day and the next day.
No matter how good of a place you are in and no matter how happy you are, anxiety can creep up on you at any time. It can show up in the middle of night or at 5 am the next morning. It can pop up during a perfect dinner date, or midway through a goodnight kiss. It seems like at times, that it is always there. Mocking you. Mocking your happiness.
It’s wonderful to fall in love. It’s beautiful and incredibly magical. But when you have anxiety, it takes some work getting adjusted. It takes work to even be happy when it keeps following your every move.
When you are in love with anxiety, you find yourself in a constant worry. You worry about if they are the one for you. If it’s destiny or fate. You worry if they will leave you. You worry because it’s something you have always done. But if it’s truly love and if this person is right for you, they aren’t going anywhere. And you need to remind yourself of that.
Loving someone when you have anxiety is hard. It’s a journey full of bumps and dark corners. But, if the love is true and real, anxiety isn’t going to chase that love away. Anxiety isn’t going to overpower the love that was so carefully crafted for you and your partner.
Don’t let anxiety win the race. Let love in and let love win this time.
Anxiety is a terrible beast, but it’s not ever going to be a match for the power and greatness of true love.